Bridal Shower Guest List
Bridal shower planning can be a huge mammoth feat to pull off smoothly. One needs to be calm and cool because being high strung and prone to breakdowns has done zilch for anyone. Besides, the bridal shower is not the actual wedding so you don’t have to worry yourself all that much. However, planning for the shower needs to be started months in advance, three to be precise. And what is one of the very first steps while planning a bridal shower? As clichéd as it may sound, you need to begin by writing out your bridal shower guest list.
How to plan the bridal shower guest list
Preparation of the bridal shower guest list should begin at the same time as the preparation of the wedding guest list. Approximately three months before the events. Coordination with the bride over the bridal shower guests is an absolute must. Actually, it will be for your own benefit later on.
What does the shower guest list depend on?
The guest list for the bridal shower depends on a few, incredibly significant factors. Namely
Budget- If the shower organizers have a very good idea of the bridal shower budget then they should have a good clue as to where to limit the guest list. If the bride and organizers agree that purse strings have to be held tight for the shower (leaving a bigger account for the actual wedding), then it is wise to keep the list as short as possible.
Tone- Shower organizers need to be clear about the direction they are heading for the bridal shower. Is it meant to be a low-key, intimate affair? (in which case, only those friends and relatives closest to the bride need to be invited) Or does the budget allow for something a little more showy? (In which case, invitations may be extended to people from the groom’s side as well as the bride’s casual acquaintances). If the shower is going to be theme based and the theme is not particularly appropriate to the tastes of some people, omit them from the guest list.
Type- There are three types of bridal showers – Ladies’ Affair, Co-Ed and Couples' Shower. For the first type only women are invited, the second one invites both women and men (mostly the groom and his closest friends), and the third type invites only couples. The length of the shower guest lists will vary accordingly.
Traditional "must-includes" on the guest list
There are some traditional must haves on the bridal shower guest list. These include
-
Mother of the bride and all of the bride's female relatives and family friends. The shower hosts should not assume that the immediate family won't be interested to attend the bridal shower even if the family have a plan to throw the bride a separate shower.
-
Closest of the bride's friends. The maid of honor needs to enquire with the bride about the latter's friends circles she isn’t familiar with. This covers those office colleagues the bride is closest to.
-
If any office colleague of the bride is being invited to the shower, it is an absolute necessity to invite her boss, especially if the boss is a woman.
- Mother of the groom and the groom’s closest female relatives.
Definite NOTS on the guest list
Conversely, some people on the guest list should not be invited, as they may tend to make things uncomfortable for everyone at the shower. Discuss the inclusion or exclusion of these individuals thoroughly with the bride. Some of these people could be
-
Anybody whose relationship with the bride is going through a troubled patch. You definitely need to ask the bride whether to invite this person or not.
-
Anyone not on the actual wedding list. Seriously, why invite anybody to the shower who hasn’t even been invited to the wedding? This is the reason the wedding guest list and the shower guest list need to be prepared together or at least exhaustively compared to each other. To make sure that nobody on the bridal shower list is left off the wedding list. Or if the bride doesn’t want to invite a particular person to the wedding, the shower hosts should know about this beforehand lest they unwittingly invite that someone to the shower.
-
If the bride has a stepmother then it is better that the shower organizers clarify the nature of the relationship that the bride shares with her stepmother before sending her an invitation. There may be instances where the bride shares a perfectly healthy rapport with her stepmom but the real mother of the bride may not be comfortable in her presence. In this case, decide a solution for the problem with the bride.
-
If the bride does not want to invite her boss to the shower, there isn’t a need to invite her other office colleagues as well because things may not go down well for the bride if the boss gets wind of this fact. The colleagues would understand and may hold their own little shower for the bride at her workplace.
- Try not to lengthen the guest list to a massive number. The ideal number of guests for a bridal shower is only around twenty to twenty-five to keep the affair intimate and special, just between the bride and her dearest. Maximum should be around forty to fifty. More than that and guests will begin questioning whether the shower was held only for the bride to grab a vast collection of gifts.
See how many points on all of these lists depend on the bride’s opinions and the maid of honor having full knowledge of her opinions? It is for this very reason that surprise bridal showers are not really all that great. Plenty of opportunities for things to go awry over there!
Exceptions for these rules
There may be some exceptions for these rules. For example, if the bridal shower is held at a different city, state or country to that of the wedding i.e. the shower is held where the bride’s family resides and where she grew up while the wedding takes place where the bride currently resides, then it is perfectly alright to invite those people to the shower who cannot spare the time, money, and energy to travel to another location just for the wedding.
Also, if all the bride’s closest friends and relatives cannot be gathered under one roof due to similar constraints, it is then better that more than one shower is held for the bride so that different friends’ circles can celebrate with her on different events. Note- It is not a compulsion to invite every individual for more than one bridal shower except for the bride’s closest family and bridesmaids and even these individuals are expected to bring a gift only for one shower.
Bridal showers are meant to be a special celebration for the bride, so, do not bloat the bridal shower guest list by unnecessarily inviting those people who are not all that close to the bride and think of the shower as a waste of their time, energy and money for their respective gift. Such people put a dampener on the occasion and the more guests there are, the more inflated your budget becomes. So keep it a cozy little affair with only the nearest and dearest to the bride who will truly appreciate the opportunity to spend some quality time with a quality girl.