Who Should Host A Bridal Shower
Bridal Shower Planning should be carried out with the utmost care and passion. After all, a bridal shower is one of the most, if not the most, extravagant as well as touching gifts a bride will receive in her lifetime from her friends, family and loved ones. The significance of a bridal shower cannot be underlined enough so there should be no cutting corners while planning a bridal shower. Doing so runs the risk of making the bride feel undervalued, during a moment in her life where she deserves to be the happiest and most carefree, so what sadist would really like that? Choose to undertake the task only if you feel strongly about the bride and are pretty sure of your capabilities of managing the event. One should be well aware of the pressures and the emotional value attached to a bridal shower.
The task may seem overwhelming but one needs only to be genuine enough to receive a great pay-off. There isn't really any reason to stress yourself silly while planning out the shower. For, if the feelings behind the gestures are sincere, the bride is sure to recognize the effort and even be forgiving of a few minor goof-ups here and there. The golden rule to remember here is to aim for a gala time instead of technical perfection.
Who should host a bridal shower?
Which leads us to the leading question- Who should host a bridal shower and what are the rules, per say, determining who is best suited for the job? Well, our "rules" are derived from cultural norms so you may make whatever you can out of them. For starters, let us look at the various candidates eligible for the task, arranged below in terms of suitability (from 'most acceptable to host a shower' to 'least acceptable'), as dictated by age-old tradition:-
- Maid of honor who happens to be a friend of the bride
- Best friend of the bride who isn't the maid of honor
- A group of bridesmaids who have mutually decided to throw the shower together
- Maid of honor who happens to be related to the bride
- Family members of the bride
- Mother of the bride or mother of the groom
What should be noted here is that if you are the maid of honor at the wedding, one who happens to be a close friend of the bride, then in all normal circumstances, it is you who should host a bridal shower or at least that is what is most expected?. Even if you are the best friend of the bride but weren't selected as the maid of honor because the bride had to pick a sister or a relative for the position for whatever reason, it is still preferable if you throw the bridal shower either by yourself or with the help of other bridesmaids. Apparently there is an universal agreement that the family of the bride isn't expected to host the shower (hey, we didn't write these rules!) so friends should always precede family members when it comes to bridal shower planning.
A related maid of honor should host the shower only if there aren't any proper alternatives. The mother of the bride and the mother of the grooms are actually the last people on earth who should throw the shower and even if, due to various circumstances, the party has to be held at the residence of one of the moms, the maid of honor and her fellow bridesmaids have to still take the initiative to plan out the actual event by themselves. It is only fitting.
Tips for the best friend/maid of honor to keep in mind while planning the bridal shower
While hosting a bridal shower, the host or hosts are required to maintain some etiquettes with personal regards to the bride, the most important of which are listed below:-
- While deciding on the guest list, make sure that you include those individuals who hold a very special meaning in the bride's life. It is the duty of the host to pull all stops in order to ensure that the bride is at her happiest and what better way to do that than to gather all those who hold a very unique place in her heart under one roof?
- On an opposite note, choose to exclude anyone and everyone who has tense relationships with the bride and her family and who may have a tendency to make things unpleasant and uncomfortable for everyone present at the shower (think Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married)
- Make it your priority to invite the mother of the bride and other family members. This may seem embarrassingly obvious but there have been instances where friends throwing the bridal shower decided to exclude the mother of the bride and the bride's family, leading to resentment. Even if the girl's family has separate plans, it is common decency to at least extend an invitation to them for the shower you are organizing. Same thing goes for the mother of the groom
- In case the bride happens to have a stepmother, first clarify the nature of the relationship she shares with her stepdaughter before inviting her
But what about the bride's office colleagues and co-workers?
If the majority of the bride's co-workers are unable to attend the shower due to distance and time constraints or because the hosts of the bridal shower weren't able to contact her co-workers, it would be a sweet and much appreciated gesture to throw a "mini-shower" for the bride on her last working day before she takes leave for her wedding. The venue for the co-worker thrown bridal shower could be on office premises or any cafe or restaurant close to the office. The actual shower need not be grand and may consist of little more than a luncheon in the bride's honor and/or cake-cutting. Even if a bride's co-worker will be attending the main shower, it would be nice of him or her to participate and contribute in this special celebration just between their co-workers.
So there you have it! A helpful guide to ascertain who should host a bridal shower and in what capacity. Remember, it shouldn't be a matter of contention as to who should throw the shower. If you are a family member of the bride, then allow her friends to take the lead in mapping out the event. If that isn't possible and you have to take control, then hold a separate shower. Just see to it that whatever you plan on doing, make sure that the bride's happiness is not compromised in any way. This is one of the few times you get to show her how much she means to you and the whole point of having a shower is to let the bride share her personal joy with those people who hold a piece of her heart just before she shares her life with the person who owns her heart. A bridal shower represents a moment in the bride's life where she bids farewell to one stage of her life and fondly looks back on it while excitedly anticipating the next stage. So go ahead and make the moment a cherish able one for her!